thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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