Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
