farters have to be the big spoon...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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