Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
