he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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