Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
