I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
