My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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