Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Holy sore nipples Batman
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My vagina is very pro this idea
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
