help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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