Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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