1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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