I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
