So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
