No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
