let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
