$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
