hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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