Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
