Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
