This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
