so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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