just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
