i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
