I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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