we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Randomize
