Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
did i walk over a car last night?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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