She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
