And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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