gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
