didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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