K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
