it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
