Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
