went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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