i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
