I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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