Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
