You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Randomize
