No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
