so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
