i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize