Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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