I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
