My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
