well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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