He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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