i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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