First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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