he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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