Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dicks are not precious.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize