Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
