very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize