Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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