hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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