Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
