Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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