come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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