hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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