anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize