I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
