yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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