When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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