He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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