If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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