Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
