they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
