Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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