I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
