please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize