I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
